Kiamoy

im gonna save you all the trouble of trying to figure out why i act a certain way. i will uncomplicate myself to you because let’s face it, i can be pretty confusing sometimes. here are just some basic stuff that i feel people should, but don’t normally know about moi..

–there are only two comments that really hurt me. a) you’re dumb b) you’re a horrible friend. i don’t care if you think im ugly, anorexic, stubborn, arrogant, too nice, evil..i don’t give shit. but i really get upset when they challenge my intellectual ability to comprehend things and/or when they say i’m not a good friend. now, this is not to say i’m an all-knowing genius or i’m the worl’d greatest friend. i have my own weaknesses on those departments but i really do try my best to overcome them. do you  know how much it hurts me when i fail at those things? i’ll give you an example. just recently i  FAILED  an aptitude exam. i almost cried upon hearing the news and wanted to set fire on that faddamuckin building/company that didn’t even bother to tell me which part i failed. this really dampened my spirits, bigtime. i’ve always been an average student, i believe the last exam i failed was my math11 exam which was totally acceptable. yes i’m known to get barely passing marks when i was in college but i rarely FAIL them. i felt so upset by what happened that i lost apetite to apply for other jobs. i guess the concept of failing an exam to me is only acceptable when it’s really really really hard that i know from the minute i start answering the exam im gonna flunk the entire thing. that wasn’t the case when i took the aptitude exam, heck i was even one of the first ones to finish! nevertheless i failed and though i have no idea why i failed i’ll take it with a grain of salt and try to live normally again. as for the friendship department let’s just say that i lost two of my bestfriends because of idiotic things that seemed so major back then. anyway, we somehow managed to patch things up and we’re starting to rebuild our friendship.

–if i LIKE/HATE someone, it’s gonna take an extreme force to sway my feelings the other way. it’s as simple as that. if i really really like you, then you have to repeatedly commit a number of really horrible things to me before i decide i hate you. if i really really hate your guts, then you would also have to repeatedly do extreme acts of kindess and compassion in order for me to consider forgiving you. now for the people who have just gotten to know me please don’t get scared. this rarely happens and i usually give a lot of obvious hints if im about to profess my undying love OR cut your heads off and feed them to the lions.

–i am somewhere in the space between what is WRONG and what is RIGHT. yeah, like the DMB song. im too much of a wimp to actually do something bad but i’m no angel either. my behavior generally depends on the type of people i hang out with. if im with a really rowdy bunch like say, my highschool friends, then im really loud,bossy,and even tomboyish. if im with college friends im wild,wacky,girly and loud. i change colors as often as i change cliques but i make sure that my actions are only guided not determined by the people im with. special note to guys: if you’re expecting a high maintenance girl who will expect 24/7 surveillance and attention then you better look for someone else. im not the jealous type either and if you decide to dump me, don’t expect me to holler back.

–i like smart people. i love smart kids and i always fall for guys who are smart. again, this is not measured by the IQ but with the range of topics you can discuss with me. if you manage to talk about stuff other than car equipment, the latest mobilephone, hottest gimmick spots then you’ll probably hear from me again. i also don’t like whiny spoiled kids who only play with toys and act younger than their age. i pretty much treat kids and guys the same: if i think ur cool, i’d definitely hang out with you.

i guess that’s it for now. hope this helps and please feel free to leave comments.

yours truly,
kitchie

Rejection really hurts. But one thing I’ve learned is that rejection is not really equivalent to failure. People saying “NO” to you does not necessarily mean you have failed them.  Most of the time, it’s usually because of some external factor such as “timing” and the “right situation”. I’ve been going through a lot of rejections lately and have spent countless nights/mornings pondering on what made people think/say “Sorry, but I don’t think you’re worth it”.  I doubted myself by thinking if I had been better, maybe they might have taken a second look and realize they’ve made a mistake.  But then again, most of the people who said “thanks,but no thanks” to me aren’t around anymore so there’s no way of knowing why they rejected me.  What’s the point of over-analyzing these things if there’s no one to answer your questions but yourself? Another thing I learned is that there is life after rejection. After picking up those little pieces of myself that fell apart, I felt stronger, wiser and more hopeful than ever. It made me realize that eventhough those people don’t think that I’m the most fascinating person in the world, I know someone eventually will. J